Fly-Zip

For 5 weeks, I was the Program Manager - Child Rights in an NGO. I became a big guy. Sala mai to saab ban gaya!!! Everyone was doing Salaam Namaste to me, even people double my age. I found it hard to make a serious thinking face those 5 weeks. I once visited schools to check whether the lady teachers were teaching properly. I was their big boss. Everyone seemed so happy on seeing me. All the Mams, the kids, everyone. I was so glad my visit brought smiles to their faces. All the ladies said that my visit made them very happy and asked me to keep visiting. I felt like a charmer. When I came back to my office after the visit, a guy took me to a corner and told me that my pant's zip was undone. Shit! Wonder how it came down. I ran to the restroom holding a notebook on the postoffice. Checked. A lot was getting revealed. It was a tight old formal pant I had pulled out from the suitcase and worn to match my big-boss status. As it was tight, it had got pulled apart at the fly to reveal more of the insides. I was embarrassed to look at myself in the mirror. I recalled all the smiling faces of the ladies and kids. Now everything was clear to me.

Here's an innovative solution to the problem of fly-zips sliding down. Check it out - the upside down fly-zip.

I quit the NGO job... for various reasons.

center vs centre

I came to know just now that there is absolutely no difference in meaning between the words center and centre. Not only did I get surpized when I discovered this fact, I also felt ashamed at having used both of them so far at different places with slightly different meanings on numerous occasions, and at having considered myself one heck of a linguist for such excuisite skill at using the right words at the right places. I had been thinking that center is the geometric mid-point of a circle; and centre is used to refer to locations where a specific activity takes place. Actually it's the same word for both of these meanings. The British spell it as centre and the Americans spell it as center. So it is good to stick to one of the two spellings (think which English is yours closer to - the British or the American!). "The difference between center and centre" has been asked a lot of times in various fora on the internet. Most answers state that there is no difference except for the way the Americans and the Britishers spell the same word. But I found one answer at Yahoo! Answers particularly interesting (thoughful and thought-provoking). It says: "This has to do with the two poles of the universe. Britain is the 'centre' of the universe, while America is the 'center' of the universe." (Did you know - when there's a quotation mark in the end of a sentence, the Americans put the full-stop before the quotation mark, and the Britishers put the full-stop after it! Check out: Wikipedia Full Stop) Also, check this out for a list of many English words spelt and used differently by the Americans and the Britishers. I hope there will come a time when another form of Enlgish - the Indian English - will also be recognized as one of the standard versions of the language. Till then, let's work on creating it!

Adult Content at Late-Night on TV

News: The I&B Ministry plans to allow adult content to be shown on TV between 11:30PM and 4:00AM. The I&B has put its proposed Content Code in the public domain, for people to comment on.

It sounds like a step in the right direction. It will help us open up to some obvious realities of our life. Many argue that we are not yet mature enough to handle it, blaming it on our culture. But we all wear masks and do it anyway. Is that maturity? I don't think so. We need to get rid of those masks and accept what we are.

Another good influence this step will have will be on the quality of adult content that we produce in India. Though youtube is full of Indian Adult content (thanks to the Mallu A-Industry), not much is Internationally recognized. The quality we generate suffers immensely because of our legal, mental and cultural restrictions. I can imagine that most of those programs we'll now see in those late night hours would be adult commedies. And I think that is perfectly fine, coz over the years I have felt that adult humour is enjoyed the most. (Many may want to argue against this fact though.) And some ooh-aah programs are always welcome. We don't ask for X-Rated stuff on TV, which is not necessarily good for adults too. I think the kind of regulatory norms youtube follows, pretty much makes sense for us too. Coz from where we are right now, it is the right extent of opening up that we can afford. A bigger leap might worsen things.

One problem, though, is - how are kids to be made to go and sleep when their parents watch stuff? You don't want to tell silly stories to the most curious age group. They'll never believe unless they check out themselves. And even if you are successful in doing that, one day or the other the kids will come to know. But I think this is a general issue with parenting. There are many other things which are hidden from kids until they grow big enough to understand them. I have no experience in parenting, so cannot comment on it. But I believe this part is the most tough to handle. Watching adult stuff on TV instead of the Internet or CDs/DVDs etc. is a very small change for the adults. And all adults have their choices of adult content, based on which they may or may not watch the stuff on TV. Many may want to continue their old ways. But I am sure we cannot shield the kids beyond a certain extent, which I think is pretty small. I am not sure what's the best way to handle this. I'd like to know readers' views on this problem and the topic in general.

Finally...

My Trip to the US - 12

4 days to go, and I will be out of the US. I have had wonderful times here - some of my best - many many moments which will always be fresh in my memory and will bring smiles to my face whenever I'll think of them. As always, it's not so much about the place that makes these 2 months special. It has much more to do with the people I've met here, the fun I've had with them, the beautiful experiences which made each day count.

I came here on a Business Visa. B1. The purpose - on paper - of my visit was to have "Technical Discussions" with our "Client" and their "Customers". The purpose as told to me was "Training" on MXERP application. Never had any discussions or underwent any trainings though. And actually, I had to work. And working here has been a big pain. The first day I was given a big cabin - an entire room for me. It had been a store-room for a long time and was emptied for me to sit and work in. I saw it as a great opportunity for timepass. First time in my life, I had an exclusive office for me. It was incredible.

The first time I met our client company's Manager - Steve Kumar, it was one great moment. We had been working with each other for over a year, communicating on phone almost on a daily basis. When I went in front of him the first time, he was totally perplexed. For about an hour, he could not talk to me properly. He used to stop in between our conversation, look out of the window and wonder for a minute. He finally decided to tell me what he was going through. He said he had actually pictured me as a very "flamboyant" person from my voice on phone. I was shocked to hear that. I am anything but "flamboyant". Of course the very reason why Steve was shocked was that he did not actually find me a "flamboyant" person. But how did my voice sound like that? May be it does, but this was the first time that someone made such a comment about my voice. It was good to hear though.

The next few days, Steve Kumar didn't turn up at the office. (Probably shocked by my appearance.) So it was mostly like working in India - full timepass. I insisted on eating my meals outside, inspite of repeated dadagiri by Sampath not to eat anything outside, his fundas that every edible thing in the US contains fish/chicken/beef/pork/meat and his pleas not to bhrasht my dharm. I defied his authority, just to prove a point. He didn't get it, but I am happy that I tried.

I made some great friends like Sudheer, Suraj and Abhilash. They are the people who made my stay in the US an experience of a lifetime. I went to pubs, movies and malls with them, watched American chiks (chaddi and top - the most common dress here for gals), shouted shit, cracked jokes, sang songs, laughed, played, danced and shared thoughts and feelings. Chicago trip was a wonderful experience. Navy Pier is a very nice place. It is my dream to sit at Navy Pier on the banks of lake michigan with my Apple MacBook (my jaan...bought it in the US) and go on writing whatever comes to my mind. I had never seen a place so crowded, noisy and soothing at the same time.

Did a lot of things for the first time - played tennis (even the very first time, I played like a professional...twisted my had in my very first serve...fell once and hurt my leg too...they still pain), ate meat without tears in my eyes (learnt to inhibit my mental inhibitions), drank on consecutive days, worked at mid-night when the client got angry on seeing me doing excessive timepass, spoke angrezi with angrez people (realized that my spoken englis is good), wrote an exam in Amrika, ate all my meals (including breakfast) on time, ate frozen and ready-to-eat food, took stands, made choices and expressed opinions on important matters, ironed all my clothes myself regularly, figured out a lot of things without any help, used paper (!!!), learnt to see the bright side of life!

Life is getting more and more interesting with each passing moment...I hope it stays that way even after I go back to India...

My Trip to the US - 11

I had to grope around in the darkness before I found the light switch. It was turned down. I thought that was the "on" position like with the switches in India. It was hard to imagine any other possibility. I thought there must have been a switch outside the room which controlled the room's power supply. I went out and checked, but found no switch. I opened the door wide open, so that some light entered inside.

There was a clock in one corner that showed a glowing red "11:30". It was a digital alarm clock with an LCD that showed the time and it also had a radio. I recalled that in the 5-Star room in chennai where my brother had stayed, there was a clock-cum-gadget that had buttons to control everything in the room - lights, AC, etc etc. I considered the possibility, though my hotel didn't look anywhere close to even a 3-Star. But since it was Amrika, I was not sure of anything. I started looking at the clock. I pressed all its buttons. One of them started the radio. It played so loud, and in the darkness I couldn't think for a while. I messed it up by pressing all the buttons on it 3-4 times. The clock's radio changed bands, the time changed randomly, something rang the clock's alarm very loudly, and something finally turned it off. I kept the clock back at where I picked it from.

I could see a phone kept on a stool. I went and dialled "0" which, Aziz had told me, was the front-desk-number. I told him there was no power supply in the room. But he said in his broken English that there was a switch inside, just beside the door, that had to be turned on, etc etc. I was getting embarrassed inspite of trying hard not to. I told him I would figure it out and hung up.

I started to do some R&D now. As a trial and error, I moved up the switch, the one beside the door, and that lit one of the lamps. There was some light now and I could see 3 more lamps in the room - all turned off. I went to the first one, and tried to see how it could be switched on. I found that the power supply was through a wire which was direcly plugged into a socket and there were no switches. I pushed a pin that slid right below the bulb of the lamp, and the lamp started glowing. WoW!!! I went ahead and turned all the lamps on. The light delighted me.

Next I checked out the wash-basin. I turned the knob on top of the faucet - both clockwise and anti-clockwise. No water came out. I concluded that the room had no water supply. I tried harder as the last ditch effort, and the knob got pulled up a little as I moved it forcefully. And then, water started coming out. So, I came to know that the knob had to be pulled up to turn it on. Soon I also figured out that after pulling it up, if I turned the knob clockwise, I got cold water and if I turned it anti-clockwise, I got hot water.

At that time, there were 2 guys - Vinay and Sampath - from my company working in Cincinnati for the same Client for whom I came to work. They're still here. They are on long-term visits and have been staying in apartments close to my hotel.

As I was trying to figure things out, Vinay and Sampath came to meet me. I had been wondering about food, and was happy to see a box with them. Had the delicious home cooked South-Indian food after they left and then, it was time to get on to the internet.

I was going to use Wireless Internet for the first time in my life. I had tried at London and Chicago Airports, but could never get connected. I took out my laptop and was connected within moments. I also turned on the TV to check out whether the Amrikan TV Channels really showed porn at mid-night, as I had heard. It was past 12:00 AM. I ran through all the channels the TV offered. I found pretty clean stuff everywhere. That was disappointing. I missed Sun TV so much. I found Jeetu online on GTalk. I immediately started a voice chat with him. Someone had to hear my first observations, aankhon-dekha-haal - no non-veg on TV at mid-night, lots of hot girls at London Airport, saw a very sexy gal in a mini-skirt at Chicago Airport, no hot gals visible in the hotel...

I chatted for some time, then fell asleep.

5th May 2007 - the longest day of my life - 24 + 9:30 = 33:30 hours long...had come to an end!

To Be Continued...

My Trip to the US - 10

I was in The United States of America - the country which millons of people the world over feel fascinated about, the place which is considered the land of opportunities, the country whose opinion matters the most on any issue of International concern, the country which defines fashion, the country which gives respect and refuge to talent from all over the world, the country which I was going to discover and which had already started opening its pages to me - I was feeling great. Suddenly life seemed very happening. The change was wonderful. I discovered that I enjoyed walking into unknown worlds. I realized that the mystery that uncertainty held in itself gave me a lot of pleasure when it revealed itself to me. Life would be boring without the element of uncertainty in it.

It was cold outside the Airport. I went from the Airport to the Hotel in a cab driven by a Mauritanean. Mauritanea, I came to know, is a country in Africa. The driver was very friendly and helpful. I learnt from him how to use calling cards to make international calls. He even gifted one to me. It costed $3. He refused to take money for the calling card.

I reached my hotel in about 20 minutes. The hotel, where I am still staying, is called - Best Western.

The cab dropped me right outside the lobby. The Mauritanean enquired at the lobby to confirm that we came to the right place. He wished me a great stay in America, and left. As I went inside the lobby to confirm my booking, I came to know that there were 2 kinds of rooms in the hotel - from the smoking point of view - smoking and non-smoking. That was the first choice a lady who came to book a room was asked for. The office at the lobby had a "drive-thru" as well - wherein you can shout into the window that you need a room, then answer the questions asked, then give your credit/debit card, then collect the room keys and your card and get into your room directly from there. The booking for me had already been done by my company, and I had to just take the keys after getting my ICICI Travel-Card swiped and signing on a few forms. I came to know that mine was a non-smoking room with a king-sized bed. That felt awesome to think about.

There was a TV at the lobby. It was playing the movie - Gladiator - on the channel called - tbs. I looked at the screen and smiled, and said Gladiator loudly. I think I did that coz unconsciously I wanted the white guy at the lobby to know that I had a high level of awareness, that I knew the good movies of Hollywood and also that I had good tastes in movies. The guy turned out to be an Usbeki. His name was Aziz. I felt ashamed for a while. I didn't have to do that. Even if he was an American. Made a mental note, an entry in Lessons-Learnt, took my keys and came out of the lobby to head for my room.

Though Aziz had given me directions for my room, I didn't quite understand him. My attention was somewhere else. And he spoke bad english. And also I was confident that I could figure it out.

There were 2 buildings facing each other. My room had to be in one of them. The room-number was - 232B. I went towards the nearer of the 2 buildings. I figured that I had to climb the stairs. There was a guy standing near the stairs with a bottle of bear in his hand. He looked as scary as any other drunken person. I told him my room-number and asked him where it was. He said I had to go up the stairs. Then suddenly he jumped to grab my bag and insisted to carry it for me. It wasn't easy to get rid of him. I told him 3-4 times that it was ok, and I would carry the bags myself. Finally he stepped back, smiled and said "Positive". I guess he meant that he was ok with what I said. He let me go. I found that my room was not in that building but was in the other building.

I reached my room after some searching around. I stood outside the door with the card-key in my hand. I had seen this kind of keys, and I had also seen my brother use one when he stayed in a 5-Star hotel in chennai. But I never take interest in How-Things-Work unless I get into situations when I have to understand them to go ahead. So here I was, trying to open my door. I figured that I had to swipe my card through a slot on the door. I inserted the card in all possible ways. One of them worked! I made a mental note of exactly how I inserted the card, and then pushed the door open...

To Be Continued...